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December 27, 2012
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Veemon - digital crappy fast painting by long-forgotten-sense Veemon - digital crappy fast painting by long-forgotten-sense
Hey

Here's a fast painting I did today because I simply didn't have anything better to do. Yep, you've heard right, there are actually better things to do for me, than art. It wasn't like that until now really, but you know what, lately I noticed I'm losing patience and I can't really concentrate on a good result.. I think this whole art thing is in vain for me... Through art there is no way of making friends... There are two of you here who I think of whenever I draw but not even you seem to give that feeling back...

I'm not saying it applies to everyone. It's just that, when people fucking ignore you it's clearly a fact that you're boring and you should stop being as such. I think I will stop doing art for a while. I know you don't give a fuck anyway...

This is my last painting (which is quite crap as you can see) for an unknown period of time from now on. It may be one day, it may be a lifetime. I don't know, but I'm just wasting time with this whole art thing really. It's not for me

Sergiu


P.S. I've found my work being stolen quite a few times until now, so here's one reason which proves that you people really don't give a fuck. I don't know what you want from this art apart from using it as a way of expressing yourselves. Make business out of it? Well, you're wrong then. Fucking destroy this the way you destroyed music and the kill yourselves because no one understands you as an artist anymore. Have fun!

Veemon c Toei and Bandai
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:iconcapptl:
capptl Mar 10, 2014  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Epic!
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:iconzackamperez:
ZackAmperez Mar 10, 2014  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Hm. this Veemon looks great
I like the background too :3
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:iconartweak:
artweak Feb 18, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
I really like this crappy fast painting. I left Deviant Art and came back a couple of months ago. I' commented on Unanswered questions before and I've watched before but I'm now back and watching good artist like you. Keep on drawing and never give up! :D
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:iconhazer1337:
Hazer1337 Jan 3, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Sorry to hear you feel this way, Sergiu.
And If I'm one of the people you think about - I again apologize.
It's not that I ignore you or anyone on purpose, I just have trouble keeping friends.
I'm a type of person which contradicts with ones self.
I want to make friends but on the other hand I want to be alone.
It's annoying and I hate myself for it.
I do come on here and see your drawings, I love them all.
And this is the first time in a while I've seen a Digimon. :)

Sorry if I seem ignorant and that I don't give a fuck.
But honestly, like I said earlier, find it hard myself to keep in contact.
If it wasnt for the fact college had a group on facebook I would delete my account also, because I have 1 friend which is my mum (cleared out friendslist)

And for skype... i dont go on there anymore.

Etc..

Getting more depressed and anti-social, I am. :|
Didn't even know that was possible...

Sorry to hear that art is not working out for you,
But I'm sure you can make friends in the course you're in now.
Art....has never worked out for me.
Started it as a hobby and failed miserably, always finding it frustrating and not worth putting effort in.

But - unlike me, you actually do have amazing talent at art, and you draw amazing art.
This may be selfish for me to say but - It would be a huge waste for your amazing talent to go un-used.
I love all artwork you put out there, and I'm sure a lot of others do too!
Maybe find an art club or something to join so you can make friends?
Enter art competitions? I don't know... but I'm sure something will rise within you to make you inspired to do art again, no matter how long it takes for said thing to happen.

Also, its a shame to see your work being stolen, I don't know why people would but I dont get myself let alone anyone else haha!
If it was me I would take it in a form of compliment, but I guess I would be a bit ticked off too.
Contact said people and ask for them to give credit or for them to remove it?
They must like your art enough to steal it, in the first place.

Don't let depression get to you like it has me, it's not nice.
:(
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:iconlong-forgotten-sense:
long-forgotten-sense Jan 3, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Thanks for your message, I didn't expect any :D Usually I'm coming back to art by myself but then people like you always appear when they should. Here is what I mean :

This drawing is a piece of shit. The worst thing I ever did, and so I guess it transmits that... And I'm not talking about the details, I'm talking about the feeling it gives. Nothing really fits in there the way it should be... You know, every time I draw after a long long period of 0 activity here, I start thinking about that and say it's all in vain. I'm a negative person, Harry, I always was as far as I can remember... Whenever I'm doing something I start it in a negative theme... You don't know all the backgrounds. I never ever did a happy character or appreciate a happy character. I don't know how that feels so I always have to modify it when I realize what I'm doing... This one kept that feeling `till the end

This is like a musician and his fans. I'm trying to find friends with the same ways of seeing things like me (which is quite impossible, but I can get close to that) through those "fans". Watch a random interviews of some musicians (true musicians) and see how they talk about their music : "when the fans said that", "I like the fans the way they are", "it's my family and my fans that keep me going" "fans that" "fans this" and no, they're not obsessed. For example, in Romania, it's like a tradition for rap groups to stay after the concert with their true fans and have a party... This is what I'm searching for as well :D People who say "wow that's cool" would live the concert probably before it ends...
Mate, darkness was in my mind since I was two years old and they suspected me with autism, so as I said, I always was a negative person. It’s how I am, I just have to deal with it.

Now about you... Well, one thing is for sure: you are antisocial. So am I, so I know what kind of depression this leads to...I used to suffer from it like 10 years ago, and I'm telling you. Depression is something you can get rid of. Even if you're antisocial, depression can also occur because of many other things... you just need to hunt it down. If you don't like it then you should act on it... This is why you can't keep friends. You are always welcome to talk with me because I can understand, but a person who isn't like us simply can't get it and will consider you as being antisocial/weird so on... You don't even want them anymore as friends, that's why you feel like you need to be alone, and you hate yourself for it. Ok, the truth is, you hate a part of yourself. That dark one, which tells me you were a different person some time ago. Harry, darkness is NOT something to live with if you're not like that... This is affecting your whole character and now you think that you're ignorant? No mate, the two persons I was talking about are also in my friends list, here on DA, and for one of them, the very first person I've met her, I did some sacrifices that she didn't deserve. We kept on talking but... Anyway, the other one doesn't keep in touch unless I do. So, you know... Both of them used to be so motivating back then but... This is what I was talking about. You are something else, I understand why you don't keep it touch that much :D

I guess I'm clear now why art is not working for me... On short, it works, but not as it should be. I will come back to it someday because I think I've just met a person here who deserves it, don't get me wrong, you do, and some other persons as well, but it's a special subject. ... Just like a singer who meets a fan that convinces him to go in the studio and continue. It's not the first time I want to quit, remember? On short, it's my darkened mind that pushes me backwards, and you people who keep me going. Me doing art depends on how good I master the balance between those two. Simple, just like the balance between good and evil.

I feel bad for that art didn't work out for you because It's a true way of expressing yourself, and there is one work of yours I have in my favorites which is quite amazing. "every tear lives a scar" you should have a look at it and think again :D That's the kind of thing you should do... Ask another artist if you don't trust me. They will say you still have stuff to learn, but none of them will say you need to stop. I bet on that (I insist just because I know you can :D)

You know about me saying I should stop, and you as someone who appreciates my art from some deep and special points of view saying to continue I can tell one thing: You're not the first one to tell me that. When i started with music, first I started piano and then quit it after a few months, with my two teachers and some classmates saying : "you are the best student why do you quit it? You are doing a bad thing wasting your talent like that". I didn't care... Then I started guitar and became my teacher's best student. I wanted to quit and I did so... That teacher kept on calling my mom for months saying I had great talent which is going to be wasted. I didn't care again... I also started singing in that period. I was good again, and then quit it in the same way with the same results. This also happened in school with many things like physics, chemistry and stuff like that... Many psychologists and phychiatrists said there is something in me that is wasted. Now I started again with art, and music in college. Same results... I feel like I want to quit both of them. Same feeling, same fucked up and evil virus in my mind, keeping me away from what I should do. Why did I quit all of them? This is why:

I'm good with everything I am dedicated to but then if I don't find some special persons involved in it, like you, then I will quit because in none of these cases I had those persons to watch me from my perspective, and not really see in me a famous producer. I don’t give a fuck about fame and money. I just want to be myself... And so I couldn't keep that balance I was talking about, and my mind kept on dragging me back. And here I am. A fucking alcoholic doing what? nothing...

I think about all of these every time I draw something, and think about those two people and how they used to keep me going when I started. I wanted them to be my friends and then everything stopped... Since then, I wanted to quit but then other people appeared, like you, seeing things from different a perspective. This is what keeps me going; even if my mind is quite limited in ideas sometimes, I meet new people who will help me deal that. There are hundreds of things involved here and which I think of every time I do it and... you know. I'm not perfect I can't keep a perfect balance.


Overall, I don't know if I will quit it soon. But when I want to continue and I really really have something to express, I find my work being stolen. Now things like this will break my will (especially in Veemon’s case) ... If they like my art they should answer me through art. Their art... If they steal my work, they steal my feelings. Art and characters involved in it are the only things I care about... What do they know about me? Why do they steal the most important thing that makes art genuine?

If they want my characters in their work, ok that's amazing and that means I just found a new temporary friend. But that means involving that character in some action of their own, to attract my attention so I will continue that with other work and so on. I've seen that quite a few times here on DA and I like it. From this point of view, this is how things should be.


Ok then... I'm happy for you left me this message and I'm looking forward to an answer.
Take care of yourself
Sergiu
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:iconhazer1337:
Hazer1337 Jan 3, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Hmm, I'm not that good with replying to long comments, but I will try my best.
I guess I'll have to break each bit of your comment up and reply in chunks.

First of all, this drawing is not crap, it's a beautiful piece of artwork, details and the emotion put into it. What this artwork speaks to me is that you're fed up with doing nothing. At least that is what I can read on it. It looks like you're fed up with not doing what you want to do because certain emotions or barricades are stopping you.

Because of this - I can relate to the picture and I think it is a good picture, as I think most of your pictures and art are.
About the negative themes? I do that as well.
Yes, maybe I have a few positive artworks in my account, but everytime I draw something or try to, I end up with something negative, and I actually have to put in more effort trying to draw something positive than negative, so I can relate to you. I am a negative person as well...

----

I'm not sure If I understood the second paragraph that well, but you want friends you can relate too, correct? Maybe to try and make friends from those who like your artwork on dA, or friends who like your Music...
I'm not sure If I understand completely, but I can get the fact you want to make friends who can relate to the struggles you're going through and have been through, and who can also relate to how you feel about art, music and the spiritual side of things.

It's not impossible but it's going to be hard.
You just have to stick things through until you find friends you can relate to, like I said perhaps join art competitions and music competitions, clubs and other activities to make friends.
But it is easier said than done, because if so I would've done it by now...

xD

----

Yes, I am very anti-social, and sometimes It feels that the depression I have isn't possible to get rid of... I think I've already pinpointed the reasons of my depression. A few reasons such as my past, my lack of ability to make and keep friends, the fact that I'm drifting further and further apart from the only person who has ever made me want to keep living in this world due to drug usage and other crap I hate.

Acting on it is hard, I don't have any courage.
What you said about me not even wanting them anymore as friends, is completely true, sucks to admit but these conflicting feelings are fucking annoying as hell and art leading me further into depression.

Maybe I was a different person long ago, but that was long, long long ago to the point I dont even remember it anymore, i'd say probably when I was 5? Things went very, very down hill. And recovering from it seems impossible. ._.

----

For the art, you probably started doing art to lift off the darkness inside of you and express yourself to make yourself feel happier? At least thats why I started, but I realised that all I can do while feeling this darkness is to draw dark things myself, and it limits me to the point where if I try to draw nice things to cheer myself up I am physically unable to and I get frustrated and want to quit. Maybe its not the same with you but if it is I can understand,

I will always want you to carry on with art because your talent is amazing, each picture has a story to it and emotions embedded within, but I'm not going to push you further about it because I know if I do or someone else does, and harrasses you to carry on - all it will do is drift you further away from art. And that is something I don't want to happen.

Everyone needs a break from things once in a while, after taking a long or short break from art, maybe you will be able to return.

----

Art would never work out for me it seems, and I do think the only artwork I've drawn to express myself fully would be the "Every Tear is a Scar" one, but even then I look at it and all it does is make me feel more depressed, sucks eh? XD

I also started art to cheer myself up, give me something to do to distract my mind off life, but If I draw depressing things by expressing myself, I would rather quit art altogether.

I miss being able to draw art and have fun at the same time...

----

From what I read - I see you're a very talented person who has many, many good artistic points, music and art are something very hard to learn and get into for most people, the fact you can go into almost any instrument and pick up a brush and draw well, and play well with said instrument shows your very good in learning new things.

But don't push yourself, is all im going to say, but don't quit altogether either. If something isn't working for you anymore, take a break and in that break - do something else until that doesnt work anymore, then do something else and cycle through.

Don't feel you have to continue something for someone else, only do it for yourself. May sound selfish but everyone needs to be selfish. :P
Push through the negativity, like I have to act on mine, you need to act on yours. Find out where the virus lingers and punch it in the face. If you want friends, you can easily make them.
You have a very wide range in talent and I believe if you stick things through, (although dont do it 24/7 or else you'll get fed up) you will be able to make a lot of friends, fans and the like!

----

You said you quit these things because you didnt have friends who can relate to you.
This is contradictary as if you probably stuck through then you would've found said friends.
It requires patience, but I know its hard to have it as I fail too. :P
If you don't like the alcohol, then stop it.
Instead of drinking a pint, how about finding a nice location and taking a few photograhy pictures,
or maybe picking up something you've not played in a while and trying it out?
Or even learning new things?

Alcohol is a depressant, by it's nature.
It's the worst thing you can take when you're already depressed.
Although addiction is addiction, it will be hard to break free from it
but with family, and friends ( which I know you have around you, even though you may not consider them friends ) you can break free.

Also, nobody is perfect. :P

----

I wont understand those who steal other artwork, but maybe its that they feel the exact way you do and can't express it themselves?
I don't know - talk to those people and try to set them straight. :P
Tell them what you've told me.
"If you like the artwork, maybe draw your own version of it."
or
"If you like the message behind it, how about comparing it to your message and trying to make art out of it."


Like I said earlier, I'm not good at replying to big comments but - I tried. :P


P.S:
I have a keyboard lying around in my house.
I used to be quite good at keyboard in Secondary School but I can't play it now without getting frustrated.
I guess I need someone to teach me to play it properly. :P
Maybe later. Maybe later. XD




I hope everything works out for you Sergiu.
You know what class I am in, in the college.
Mondays and Thursdays. :P
Starting from 7th Jan.
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:iconhazer1337:
Hazer1337 Jan 3, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Wow I used :P a lot.
Haha
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:iconlong-forgotten-sense:
long-forgotten-sense Jun 23, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Hi, sorry I missed replying to you but I didn't really come back here because this is one of my worst works, and the only reason I uploaded it is because Veemon is one of my two all time favourite cartoon characters.

So considering all that, thanks for the comment and I also saw you in the list of those who favorited this work so thanks a lot for the fave too. I really appreciate it.
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